


Blame the Player, not Sexual Frustration

by proot



Series: Jealous Cris [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Cris is holt, Dani is monty hall, James is Amy, James wants to help his friends, Jealous, M/M, Sese is rosa, Short, inspired by brooklyn 99, ish, s04e08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proot/pseuds/proot
Summary: Inspired by s04e08 of Brooklyn 99, please watch the show, it's hilarious! It's on netflix!





	Blame the Player, not Sexual Frustration

“So it’s date night, and everything is going well, until he starts talking about Dani Alves. I mean for a minute it’s fine, but to constantly talk about him… What about me? We finally have 2 hours with each other and this is how you want to spend it? Talking about some Brazilian with questionable fashion?”

 

It was the usual training session for the Real Madrid squad; Cris was complaining about Leo showing attention to someone for more than a second, Sese kind of listening and also thinking what to have for dinner, and James listening to every single word.

 

“Anyway, I’m going to practice penalty kicks.”

 

Sese and James were left alone.

 

“We need to save their relationship. If the king and queen of football break up, it’s the apocalypse!”

 

“The queen is Cris right?”

 

“No it’s Leo, he’s the Beyoncé of football… That’s not the point we need to do something!”

 

“Look James, they haven’t seen each other for almost two months. They just need to bone”, explained Sese.

 

“What? Gross! Sergio, those are our dads!” Sese raised his eyebrows at that. “I mean”, James chuckled, “That’s not what I think, Cris is just my dad.”

 

“Wow.” Sese wasn’t entirely shocked, just found it a little bit pathetic.

 

“I meant teammate! Never mind, I’m going to help save their relationship!”

************************************************ 

Dani Alves stepped onto the field in search of someone.

 

“Aye Marcelo, what’s the emergency?”

 

“Uh nothing… Why are you here?”

 

“You texted me about some emergency! I thought you were dying, when you weren’t answering my calls! I got here as soon as I can!”

 

“It was me! Sorry Marcelo”, said James, giving back to his Brazilian his phone.

 

“Dani, I need your help! It’s Cris”, continued James.

 

“What does that shit want?” Dani wasn’t happy, he felt uncomfortable; he was in his enemy’s place.

 

“Please come with me?” James made sure to have puppy eyes. And Dani became a victim of them.

 

“Fine!”

 

They both walked towards where Cris and Sese were, talking about the team they are about to go against in the upcoming week.

 

“Cris, look who I brought!”

 

That was when Cris and Sese landed their eyes on the Barcelona player.

 

“Are you trying to kill me?”

 

“No Cris, that’s not wh-“

 

“It’s unbelievable. I don’t need Alves ruining my place of work when Alves has already ruined my home life.”

 

Dani was confused, and James looked crushed. Sese needed to intervene.

 

“C’mon Cris, Alves isn’t the problem. The schedule is keeping you and Leo apart. You two just need to bone.”

 

James couldn’t hide the squeal of disgust, and Dani let himself out, talking about “I love Leo too much to hear about this shit.”

 

“What did you just say?” Cris asked incredulously.

 

“Don’t say it again”, whispered James.

 

With as much seriousness he could muster, Sese repeated: “I said you two need to bone.” And that caused James to whimper.

 

“How dare you, Ramos.” Cris whispered. “I am your teammate first and foremost!” Cris yelled, and walked away from James and Sese.

 

10 minutes later, he came back and told Sese sternly: “What happens in my bedroom, Ramos, is none of your business.”

 

“And yet you keep talking about it.”

 

“I-“ Cris stormed off.

 

20 minutes later, Sese and James were still together when Cris came back to calmly say: “Don’t ever speak to me like that again.” Cris then proceeded to go to Zidane.

 

James looked sad and asked Sese: “Why did you do that?”

 

“Dude was pent up. Now he knows. Problem solved.” He walked away to go practice some passes with his teammates. James felt like he needed to wash his ears.

 

When they were in the locker room, preparing to leave, Cris had to make an announcement.

 

“I have to go to Barcelona for business reasons, so don’t bother calling or texting me.”

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know for mistakes! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
